Sunday, November 25, 2012
I love Saturdays and Sundays. Yes, because of the obvious-it’s the weekend. But mostly because it means it is just mom and daughter time. I’ll admit – it’s a mixed bag of goods. On one hand it means no extra pair of hands to help with the lifting and turning, the grooming and dressing, the medicating and stretching, the nebulizing and vesting and whatever else might be on the menu for the day. On the other hand….it means the day, and the girl…are mine all mine.
And today until 5pm we used our time up just fine. First and foremost there were snuggles and Lifetime movies. After our fill of those we moved on to our ADL chores accompanied by the silky sounds of girl anthems. Tori endured mom belting out song after song by Carole King, Carly Simon, Pat Benatar, and Pink to name a few. I’m still not sure if her giggles were squeals of delight or “you’ve got to be kidding me’s”.
Once Tori and her room were tidy we moved on to my room and she kept me company while I changed the bed and threw open the windows. Then, we sat in front of them and watched and listened to the water. After, she assisted with a little online Christmas shopping and we viewed some family pictures on the computer.
Around 3pm we decided it was time for a change of scenery and getting into the van went for a ride around the neighborhood. With the rebuilding being done in our town it is not possible to visit our usual haunts and we selected a new route. I love taking Tori for a ride. When I open the passenger window just enough for her to feel the wind on her face she cocks her head slightly back and seems to relax into the breeze. It was a perfect day.
I love Saturdays and Sundays and I am thankful for our mom and daughter time.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Source: The Pawtucket Times
A sobering pre-New Year’s message about the dangers of drinking and driving was issued yesterday by State Police and the self-described numbers-crunchers of highway injury statistics, but no one put it more eloquently than Tori Andreozzi. She said nothing.
Incapable of speaking, the 22-year-old woman sat awkwardly in a wheelchair while a family member held a sign above her head that said, “I am the victim of a drunk driver.”
Andreozzi was 12 years old when she stepped off a school bus and was struck by a drunken driver in West Warwick. The former martial arts star suffered traumatic brain injuries that left her a quadriplegic, totally dependant on others for the most routine functions of everyday life.
She was Exhibit A as the State Police vowed to redouble their efforts to curb drunken driving and other risky motoring behaviors in the year ahead. Officials from Mothers Against Drunk Driving, the state Department of Transportation, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and North Cumberland Emergency Medical Services were on hand to help State Police Supt. Steven O’Donnell kick off the campaign, dubbed “365 Days of Safety Awareness.”
The national death toll from motor vehicle accidents has been steadily trending downward for decades, reaching its lowest ebb in 62 years in 2011. But O’Donnell said the figure — 32,376 fatalities, about a third of which involved an impaired motorist — is still far too high.
“Highway deaths are more than double the number of persons murdered nationwide,” he said. “We should be shocked and outraged by these numbers.”
In Rhode Island, 66 people were killed in motor vehicle accidents last year, including 24 that involved alcohol. Rhode Island actually outperformed the nation in reducing the proportion of deaths linked to alcohol, with an 11 percent decline from 2010, according to NHTSA.
The presentation in the cafeteria of the Community College of Rhode Island dramatized the highway carnage by substituting living human beings for those lost on the roads last year. Those killed by drunken drivers wore red T-shirts, and everyone killed for some other reason, including speeding, texting while driving and failure to wear seatbelts, wore black.
“Our numbers are actually people,” said Gabe Cano, regional director of NHTSA, the federal agency that tracks highway injuries, fatal and otherwise. “They’re brothers, sisters, husbands …”
While Cano wasn’t suggesting people shouldn’t enjoy themselves during the holidays, he said they could avoid the risk of injury or arrest simply by planning ahead. Don’t drink and drive, appoint a designated driver who isn’t impaired and if you know someone has been drinking, don’t allow that individual to get behind the wheel, he advised.
O’Donnell said all motorists can help by dialing *77911 on their cell phones to alert authorities if they see someone else driving erratically.
“Think about this when you’re out with your friends,” offered Phil Kydd, deputy director of the state Department of Transportation. “It’s actually cool to be responsible.”
DOT proclaimed zero highway fatalities to be a worthy goal for 2013, but the state’s official target is to cut highway deaths in half by 2030.
“Sometimes we worry about the message getting stale,” said Kydd, “but when you take a look at these red shirts, black shirts, there’s nothing stale about it.”
Lloyd Albert, senior vice president of public and government affairs for AAA of Southern New England, called the goal of zero deaths “a good one, no matter how elusive that goal might be.”
In addition to the living humans who served as stand-ins for 2011’s death count, about 30 police officers from departments all over the state were on hand for the pre-holiday presentation, forming a phalanx behind the speakers’ lectern.
At one point, the living stand-ins for 2011’s highway deaths were instructed to step aside from the lectern, but there was still one real-life victim of a drunk driver left behind when they cleared the area — Andreozzi
Cathy Andreozzi, her mother, said the motorist responsible for maiming her daughter was ordered to serve 10 years in prison and ended up serving six.
“There’s no amount of time that can ever make up for it,” she says. “As a parent, you want to fix things. The best I can do now is support law enforcement, support MADD and maybe I can fix it for other families so it doesn’t happen to them.”
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Yesterday was a day filled with emotion. And those emotions ran from one end of the scale all the way to the other. It was a day that started and ended with conversations with moms dealing with similar circumstances; caring for young adult children whose lives where forever altered because of one moment in time.
Lives filled with incredible grief, pain and loss. Days filled with uncertainties and battles; not only from the injury within – but from the assault outside. The paperwork; the system; the wait. Adrift at sea at the mercy of the changing tides.
Such different circumstances – different stories. Yet, at the helm of each, guiding her ship with a steady hand, a mother. Determined to navigate through any storm and bring her precious cargo safely to home port. One mom fortunate to have a first mate, right hand, who shares her passion and vision for the journey. Both steadfast in their quest.
It was an emotional day. I cried and I laughed and mostly I was awed and inspired. And throughout the day I kept thinking what keeps someone going and yet I know the answer. It is the unconditional love, the bond that is never broken, that cord that is never truly cut. It is the beacon of light that guides you.
Friday, September 14, 2012
I started to lay out everything I needed for the morning and went to the website for some last minute advice. For the first time I saw the layout of the course and a synopsis of the obstacles. I must admit for a moment I started to have doubts about my abilities to face this task.
I have been preparing myself for some time now. While most would think of a regimen that included good nutrition, strength and agility training with cardio and endurance-my preparation included all of the above but the emphasis was on so much more.
For me this quest is not so much a physical journey as it is an emotional or a spiritual one. For me it marks a choice. One of a return to life. I want to feel again.
We all know about our bodies defense mechanisms and the “fight or flight” mode that takes over to protect us. Almost 10 years ago when tragedy struck survival was absolutely dependent on my ability to stand tall and grounded. I learned very early on that meant you needed a force field to protect your vulnerable layers of emotions. With time I learned you could still feel joy and happiness, it was just always detached-it never reached the core-it didn’t penetrate or go all the way through. As sad as that sounds it was absolutely necessary because it also meant that the shearing pain and unbearable sadness as heavy as it was also didn’t go all the way through. But half of something is still half.
Over time with lots of reflection about building the best life for my family and for myself I know the best way to honor Tori is for us to truly live fully and in the moment. And I realized that mostly from something Tori herself said when she was just 10 years old and excited to be on her first major National karate trip.
We were at the Arizona Biltmore in Phoenix. It was hot and Tori and I stepped out the patio doors. I was standing in the middle of the balcony and she had her back pressed against the outside cinderblock walls. I said, “Tori come next to me because if you stand here you can really feel how hot it is”. Tori disagreed saying you can’t really feel if you walk in and out. She said the walls were hotter because they stayed-because they were there all the time. I asked her what made her think she was right and Tori responded, “Mom, the only way you can really feel is if you’re present”.
It’s time to be present for all of it – to feel it all the way through. I have a hunch there’s no way I can avoid feeling anything about tomorrow. Here goes nothing……
Monday, August 27, 2012
Several weeks ago I sat with a mom of another young woman altered forever many years ago by an assault on her brain. We spoke for hours. She said something that first shocked and then halted me….It has taken me as many weeks to process and to come to terms with some of our conversation. Mind you…it was not her words but my own fears that I needed to reconcile.
I rarely even think of her life before the woman said. “It’s as if the only life I’ve known with her is the one we know now” she continued. And I thought to myself,…how dare she not remember her daughter’s life before, how dare she not hang on….when in reality…how dare I dare, to know,,, or think to know,,, what this woman should or should not do…..I am not her…I am not her life. Yes, we may be similar in that we are both mothers with daughters no longer living the life we once thought they would live. Yes, we may be similar in that we both have a child we always assumed we would share a particular type of relationship with at a certain age. Same – but different.
And so I reflected on me…and what I thought – and while I was not yet ready to honestly address some aspects of a perceived then and now relationship – what I was able to look at is my then and now role in terms of plans and dreams for my daughter.
What I was then and what I still am now is a mother who has plans and dreams for her child. While Toris life has been changed and those dreams have been forced to change – we are not left without life and therefore not left without hope or the opportunity to dream. And so my plans and dreams for my child and her altered life have changed.
I have dreams that she live her life to the fullest and to be happy. A bit modified perhaps than the plans and dreams I had for my child before…but when you truly break it down…same…,but different
My mother told the greatest stories. She was so animated as we would be rolling on the floor listening to the misadventures of her youth. She could be incredibly silly, break out in tiny little character voices or be in great big full voice in song. She could also be incredibly firm and didn’t earn the nickname Big Rit’ for nothing.
Her heart and the random acts of kindness to people who had previously been strangers was as full as her prayer box – all intentions some of those same people would send along asking for her prayers. The rosary was said on her Mothers beads-very special beads that were called upon in times of great need. Those beads have now passed into my hands.
She was really talented. She could play the Hawaiian steel guitar in a way like no other, she would give any schooled event planner a run for their money and Rita Mobley was an original when it came to writing jingles. She could do wonders with ground beef and was so good at mixing up hand me down clothes years later we would marvel when looking at school pictures how a single shirt could seamlessly travel from sibling to sibling school year to school year and never quite look the same.
Today marks 3 years since she passed. Sometimes it seems like yesterday. Sometimes it seems a hundred years ago. I remember at her funeral mass while giving her eulogy saying growing up our house was always full-of laughter, of energy. I felt there should be a sign out front that said:
MOBLEY RESIDENCE, ENTERTAINMENT NIGHTLY, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK
I can tell you – it would have been worth the risk. We had a lot of fun – we have a lot of memories. When I look at my brother and my sisters, even my children or nieces and nephews…I see pieces of my mother and we all carry her with us still. In our hearts, in our minds, in our spirit and in the legacy she left us to carry on. Rita Marie Tanzi Mobley – May 22, 1938 – July 28, 2009. My mother had a lot of DASH between those years.
Don’t waste a moment. Make the most of everything you’ve got-because someday it might be the only thing, the most important thing, someone has to remember you by.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Source: Tiverton Patch
Advocates reported Rhode Island as one of the highest ranking states for drunk driving fatalities during Saturday's holiday awareness campaign launch held at East Providence Lanes.
By Raymond Beltran
Police officers from across the state joined Rhode Island's Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) at East Providence Lanes Saturday afternoon for the group's annual awareness campaign kickoff. Before the Holiday Highway Safety Awareness Event turned into a bowling tournament, those present used their platform to advocate tougher laws relating to drunk driving.
East Providence Police Chief Joe Tavares said that he saw Saturday's kickoff event as a reminder “to do more” to curb drinking-and-driving across the state. Tavares, who later accompanied his fellow officers tying a MADD ribbon to police cars, also pointed to efforts in East Providence to curb drinking issues.
“We're taking on many of the liquor establishments, both retail, restaurants and others, so as to prevent that individual from even getting into the vehicle,” Tavares said. Tavares also mentioned the city's youth decoy program as an example of individual communities fighting alcohol abuse. The program has resulted in multiple violations and showcase hearings across the city.
Saturday's event included a personal example of the pain drunk driving can cause. Cathy Andreozzi brought her now wheelchair-bound daughter, Tori Lynn, before the gathered crowd, speaking of Rhode Island's need to adopt stricter laws regarding intoxicated driving.
“There is much work to be done,” Andreozzi said. “There are [many] steps that can be taken. Rhode Island has been in this battle for over 30 years and certainty it's not for the lack of efforts, but we are still at the bottom.”
MADD has developed a rating system by which it measures each state. Ranging from one to five stars, the ratings are tied to how many of MADD's suggestions a state implements. These include sobriety checkpoints on roadways; administrative license revocation; child-endangerment laws; vehicle interlock systems for first-time convicted drunk drivers; and no-refusal laws.
By MADD's standards, Rhode Island is lagging in efforts to effectively deal with drunk driving. The group has assigned the Ocean State one star, a sole recognition of its present child endangerment laws relating to alcohol. Yet Saturday's event presented the urgency of the organization and its allies to make Rhode Island subscribe to the additional benchmarks devised by MADD.
At Saturday's event, Steven Pare, commissioner of Public Safety for the City of Providence and chairman of MADD-RI, referenced the slightly higher ratings handed out by the group to Rhode Island's neighbors, along with a statistic that placed Rhode Island in the “top five states in this country that continually has a high percentage of alcohol-related fatalities.”
The state's legislature has been reluctat to adopt MADD's proposals, citing their potential unconstitutional nature, according to Pare.
“There's alway a balance with freedom, and there's always a balance with enforcement and incarceration,” Pare said in response to Rhode Island's sensitivity to safeguarding constitutional rights. Pare added that, in the legislature, “there's resistance to the tools which we've advocated.”
A resistant General Assembly has not deterred MADD advocate Cathy Andreozzi from focusing on the group's intended results – even if those results mean more of a clamp-down on non-offenders.
“We need to convey to the legislative body that the rights of the individuals who are doing exactly what they should be doing, when they should be doing it, cannot weigh the rights of those who have made a willful, irresponsible and illegal choice,” Andreozzi said.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Day #1 is in the can. Day #2 is not far behind. Tori is participating in Phase II of a Restoration of Consciousness Drug Trial. She was accepted into the study in February and completed Phase I, Caregiver Observation in April.
Each Phase is based on two days of observation after the administration of a drug. One day you are given a live agent and one day you are given a placebo. Only the Institution of Record is aware which is the actual drug. The belief is that only a small % of the population responds or awakens under this drug. Apparently the belief is Tori did or we would not have been invited to Phase II, Clinician Observation.
Braintree Hospital is a participating institution through Boston University. Should Tori “pass” this Phase as well, we will move on to the University of Philadelphia or Weill Cornell Medical College for further study. It was a long day and sometimes grueling but as always she was a trooper.
Life as you know it can change in a moment. We have searched far and wide, done our homework, turned over every stone and looked underneath, made sure that first we did no harm – we are ready for a change in a new direction. As Tori would always say when staring into the eye of a certain competitor…..Bring it!
Friday, July 20, 2012
Source: Kent County Times
After experiencing a life-changing moment, 21-year-old Tori Lynn Andreozzi is still making a difference in the lives of others. She and her mother, Cathy, were presented a certificate of appreciation Tuesday for donating tactical vests to members of the West Warwick Police Department.
These vests, similar to what the military uses, are made of lightweight, flexible material and cover the officer’s torso and upper arms with pockets that can be moved around.
Patrolmen Joshua Kennedy and Detective Tony Bettencourt, who demonstrated the protective vests, said any new equipment the department gets is welcome.
“They are much lighter and cause much less fatigue and much more flexibility,” said Kennedy.
“A call can last for hours,” said Bettencourt. “You never know how long you’ll have to be in your gear. Our other vests are falling apart. Having these is such a great thing.”
The new vests were donated through the Tori Lynn Andreozzi Foundation, established in 2003 after Tori, then 12, sustained a severe brain injury after being hit from behind by a drunk driver while she and her brother were walking home from the bus stop after school.
Prior to the accident, Tori was very involved in karate, she always made time for others and always wanted to help those in need and served as a protector if a fellow playmate was being bullied.
The accident injured Tori from her waist down and from her shoulders up. Her heart stopped a number of times once she arrived at the hospital and she was left without the ability to walk, speak, or eat but because she is a fighter, Tori miraculously survived.
“Her favorite movie is ‘Pay it Forward’,” said Cathy, “and I know her fighting spirit helped her get through the toughest days in the hospital.”
As a way to help other organizations like MADD, SADD, the Brain Injury Association of Rhode Island, Youth in Action and other outreach programs in educating people that a split second can change someone’s life forever, she started the Tori Lynn Andreozzi Foundation. 100 percent of the foundation’s proceeds go toward an organization or program.
The mission of the Foundation is to educate young people about good decision-making, inform the community about ways it can make a difference, promote legislation that improves highway safety, draw awareness to traumatic brain injury, and support families dealing with tragedy.
Cathy said through the countless challenges of the medical issues, research of brain injury and knocking down doors for information to offer her daughter the best care possible she, Tori, and Tori’s older brother Robbie take steps forward every day. Cathy said Tori and Robbie have a special sibling bond that seems to transcend the injury, which have been very instrumental in her rehabilitation.
“One of the most challenging parts has actually been driving by the middle school where it happened,” Cathy said. “I still purposely avoid certain things.”
Cathy knows there are things her daughter will never experience but she’s choosing to focus on what Tori is able to do.
“She inspires me every day,” said Cathy. “Law enforcement deals with tragedy too much and it got me thinking, how can they affectively protect us if they don’t have the right equipment to protect themselves?”
West Warwick Police Chief Richard Silva said Cathy has been great.
“She approached us and asked if we had any needs,” he said. “Now the department has four new tactical vests.”
Her mother said the two have visited the ACI, where Cathy has shared their story.
“People have made bad choices and the kids who have seen her picture will come up and will tell us they’ve been inspired to do better,” she said. “They tell us that if she can deal with adversity, then they can deal with whatever’s going on in their lives. It helps them put things into perspective.”
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Source: Rhode Island Department of Corrections
Upcoming & Recent Events & News of Interest to the RIDOC Community – Volume VI, Issue 5
