Monday, March 29, 2010
There is a stillness that comes with the night. It settles over the house slowly advancing until it consumes you. And, with it comes reflection.
Drifting from room to room, in a blanket of silence, pillows are fluffed and lights extinguished. Each stair climbed brings closer the final task of the evening.
Amongst the quiet, at the top of the stairs and through double doors, comes a gentle mechanical hum. Its sound matches the rhythmic rise and fall, the heave and ho, inhales and exhales of the room’s occupant. Together with a pulsing digital glow from a monitor at the foot of the bed, they tell the tale of peaceful slumber.
An innocent sleep, one reminiscent of long ago days; seen when peering over the tops of cribs. In the darkness, illuminated only by a crack of light through the open door, hearts would melt when gazing upon the sight of sleeping babies. The warmth that would travel throughout your body from the swell of pride would leave you weak in the knees.
Now, no different from then, emotions rise. In the present, they are a mix of loss and gratitude. Reflection of what is and what could have or should have been.
For this sleep is so very different from that former space and place in time. It is riddled with uncertainty and underlying despair where once was hope and promise. The past so far in the distant, shadowed in the fog seems as though it was just yesterday. The present, misty with shades of grey allows the sunlight to somehow peek through. And the future forecast, clouded with unknown chances.
And yet, it is the feeling of gratitude that prevails, that sustains. It puts all else into perspective. It is what truly matters. With life there is hope and with it the promise of tomorrow.
Hold dearly your past, take comfort in the now, look forward and plan for the tomorrow and let the reflection of your love shine through all time.